For the love of God.

If there was ever a need for another reason to love Autumn I've just found it with the return of Apple n' Spice, Pumpkin and Eggnog ice cream at the Marble Slab.  Until January to boot!  Sweet sweet Jesus.

Parental Homework

So Gage has a tendency to be lazy.  "What?", you say?  "Not possible."  But it's really true.  He has so much potential locked into that little 13 year old boy but he's just too lazy to tap into it...unless forced or provoked.

So the other day he came home with an art project that he had all week to work on.  He had to do a composition revolving around his name.  Thankfully that's only four letters.  You would think this would be a relatively easy task, I mean he could be named Sebastian like his cousin and have an extra large art project.  But nope, just four letters....Here's is lazy first attempt at the assignment.  He started it without taking any time to actually think about what he wanted to do or what he actually could do if he gave the effort.  

I've been home from work all week sick so I was getting bored and going stir crazy.  I talked to Gage about his project, just making conversation about what he's obviously into these days:  Soccer, Eminem, Xbox, DC shoes, music.  So I said to him, why don't we research Graffiti lettering symbolic of Detroit where Enimen is actually from and do something like that for your name.  I said I'd help him if needed and he agreed with some skepticism about whether he could pull it off or not.  I figured he could with a little patience.  So we checked out lettering and came up with the following.  We then added musical notes, DC emblem, a soccer ball and Eminem (cause that was uber important).  I'm quite proud and hopefully  I  Gage gets an A.  B+ at the minimum.

Smiles are my birthday present.

A couple of weeks ago for my birthday we went for dinner at the Mandarin.  Jon and Laura were here to do some work VISA paperwork at the border so they came with us to celebrate.  As soon as we got there everyone scattered to the buffet and when Gage, Roan and I returned to the table with our first round the waiter came over and asked me if we were celebrating anything special to which I responded with a quick NOPE.  I was denied this small victory when Eric appeared out of nowhere to announce it was my birthday.  Following dinner and a loudly sung chinese rendition of Happy Birthday they snapped a photo of us.  I post this photo not because it's amazing, but because it's the only recent photo where we are ALL smiling.  Including Gage.  Such a rarity.

Kitty Love

Last November I surprised Eric by taking him to go get a kitty at the Humane Society that we had originally spotted that previous May at the Humane Society off site location at Pet Smart.  She was a calico who went by the name of Shirley.  When we originally spotted her we were immediately taken with her but the timing wasn't good as Eric was heading back to B.C. for a course and at that point he wasn't sure if/when he'd be back.

Fast forward to November and we were scoping out the H.S. website and spotted a calico named Shirley.  I thought there was no way it could be the same kitty as I was sure she'd be adopted by this point.  I called from work and found out it was in fact her, that her adopted family brought her back as their cats never adapted to her. After work, I grabbed Eric and we went to spend some time with her.  He was sold.  He was nursing a broken heart as a result of a decision by his ex girlfriend to keep all of their cats instead of allowing him to take Captain, his kindred kitty.  Probably not the best time to do this, but I wanted him to smile again.  We didn't come home empty handed.  We decided Shirley was kind of a wall flower name (no offense if your name is Shirley and you're reading this) so we came up with Tabouleh.  It's colourful, and delicious, and an unusual name.  She now goes by Boolie-Butts, Fatty, Big Butt, or Douche as I so fondly call her from time to time.  She's not an overly huge fan of Holly. Though she did take a liking to me when I took her to the vet and got her meds when she wasn't feeling well, but that was brief.

Move ahead to this past May (?) when I caved after numerous requests from Roan to go visit the kitties at the Humane Society. He prefers to go to the main site with two rooms, no real reason why, but in my favour as their hours aren't as worker friendly.  Anywho....I was home early one afternoon as I had to work that evening so I agreed to take him.  We got there and immediately noticed three adorable cats.  Two black cats and one calico.  Roan bent over to pet the calico and this one black cat jumped on his back and laid down.  Almost like he had 'picked' Roan.  Which of course melted Roan's heart and mine a little.  I secretly wanted a cat that tolerated Roan and loved him as much as Roan would love him (but I didn't really need another cat). Needless to say we came home with a new black kitty in a kitty box even after being told we weren't permitted to have more than three cats in the city of Niagara Falls.  The look on Roan's face when they told us about this by-law was enough for the girl and her manager to bend the rules.  Much to my chagrin.   His name is Shakespeare and I decided to keep it, although now he also goes by Shakespeare von Beethoven, Black Boy, Big Black, Pain in the Ass, Asshole, and Shakey.

Point of this post is to say there are no regrets.  They are two pretty awesome kitties and I'm so proud to have been able to give them both an amazing home with much love and two other cats to share it with.  They've completely made themselves at home here and with each other.

Mighty Felix

This is Eric's nephew Felix, Baby Licks/Lix.  Oh and also his baby boy.  I love this picture.  So much.  That is all.  Enjoy an adorable baby photo.

And this one too....

Shmart!

I'm wise.  Like a sage.  No, not that Sage Lesley.  Wait, who's Mike Sage? 
No this kind of sage:

sage

¹    /seɪdʒ/ Show Spelled [seyj] Show IPA noun, adjective, sag·er, sag·est.

–noun

1.

a profoundly wise person; a person famed for wisdom.

2.

someone venerated for the possession of wisdom, judgment, and experience.

Closing in

Got some of my Disney stuff UPS'd to me yesterday.  It's becoming scaringly (I know that isn't a word) real and much, much closer at an alarmingly rapid rate.  Now I'm getting to the point where I question if I'm going to have enough money and can I handle this all on my own?  This is my first real vacation where I'm 'in charge' of others.  Where other's are going to be relying solely on me.  And at the same time that I'm starting to internally panic I'm also super excited to be going. The boy's and I took some time yesterday to sit together and go through the rides and attractions we want to try when we get there.  That's the first time they've done that so I think it's becoming more real to them now as it nears closer.

Time to put my big girl pants on!

Sick sick sick

I have been home in bed for two days now.  Sick, sick, sick.  Thank you Eric for ensuring my children had/have nourishment at the socially acceptable dinner hour.  I feel drained, tired and achy.  My head hurts, my body hurts and my guts hurt.  Hopefully I can get back to work (and my pretty pink cell phone that I left there to be activated on Monday) on Thursday.  Not because I'm dying to work, but because I need motivation to get my ass out of bed and have a shower.  Ewww gross.

Apology

I'd like to take a moment to apologize.  I've joked with my mom in the past about this very subject but now I'm putting it in print.

I'm sorry to my parents, all of the adults in my life and all of the adults I came in contact with while I was a snot nosed, know it all, teenager.

On Monday night Dawn, Ashley and myself ventured up to Toronto to see another taping of SYTYCDC (I swear this will be my last mention of that show on my blog, this year).  Because I'd already been to a taping I knew kind of when they would be lining everyone up to move us into the studio.  So I scoped out the area and we made our way to the very front of the line with the hopes of getting up onto the catwalk to watch the show.  Didn't work out quite as I planned but we definitely got a decent place to stand and watch the taping from the side of the stage.  There was a row of adorable girls and a couple of teenage girls who were super stoked to be there and watching them react to the whole experience, in my opinion, was worth going to the show.   However, that being said, there was a row of stupid, douche bag teenage girls behind us who were beyond annoying.  They felt that because they were shorter than us, they should be in front of us, they didn't believe the "no cell phone rule" applied to them, nor did the no gum chewing rule and that they didn't have to listen to or heed the female usher's instructions because, well I can think of no other obvious reason except that, she is a girl and clearly wasn't as cool as them so they could intimidate her.  I can't remember the last time I have wanted to say something nasty or hit someone in the face so badly.  I was most proud of the, I'm guessing 11 year old, girl in front of us who kept turning around and giving them the best stink eye a pre-teen could give.  They weren't paying attention though so they probably missed those awesome dirty looks.  They talked through everything.  Leah's intro's, the dances, the down times, the judge's commentary, everything.  It was increasingly hard to follow what was happening because they were so loud.  They did whatever they could to throw a taping.  They were those annoying girls who continuously had to announce how 'drunk they were' as well.  I'll tell you this, if we were any where else I'd probably have started something.

These types of girls make me embarrassed to be part of this gender.  It's disappointing.  The girls in front of me made me proud to be part of this gender.  I took a moment to point out to the good girls that that was a prime example of why they should never do drugs or drink alcohol because it turned you into a self righteous, stuck up, bitch.  I'd have used another word that started with a C but I thought that might be too harsh for their nice girl ears.

So again, I apologize if I ever acted that way.  Period.  No excuses.  It would have made me a douche.

Who loves to save money?

I thought I'd share this link with you all.  It's a website full of coupons.  Everything from groceries, to health and wellness, to kids stuff, beauty products, home and garden, etc, etc.  You can search through the subjects to find what products you already use or have thought about using and print off the coupons. 

Being a mom I love sites like these and appreciate it when someone turns me on to one of them, so I will now in turn pass the information along to you. 

smartcanucks.ca

Airlines

I hate airlines.  I hate that it costs double to fly out of my own country.  I hate that the taxes to fly out of Canada is obscene.  I hate that it costs more to fly within my own country than it does for me to fly over an ocean.  I hate that flight prices increase pretty much everyday.  Especially when I need to book three seats.  I hate that I can't book my flights until next week, at the earliest, because I have a mortgage and bills to pay this week.  I hate that it's going to be even more money for those flights by then.  I hate the little itty bitty seats they make you sit in.  I hate waiting at the airport.  I hate connecting flights and hope that there is still a decently priced direct flight next week when I book.  I hate traveling alone with two children (even though I've never done it before).  I hate the recycled air in the airplane.  I hate having zero control.  I do however LOVE getting to my final destination in mere hours verses driving for two days in a car. 

That is all.

Re-cap - Random Post

Monday I headed to SYTYCDC with my aunt.  A few of the dances were amazing, a couple were complete duds, making it very clear in my opinion who was going to be outed this week. I was right.  I also discovered just how much CTV edits the shows.  One dance ended and the entire audience was in complete silence.  You could hear a pin drop, then a huge uproar in applause.  They edited a bunch of cheering and clapping in place of the silence.  I think they made a mistake.  I think it showed just how much impact that dance had on the audience with the sheer silence of a crowd that size, but whatever.  What do I know? 

All last week I've been getting sick.  Roan came home the week prior with a cold which, like the nice boy he is, he has shared with me (welcome back to school everyone!).  It's mainly in my head, not so much in my throat or chest.  I can't breathe, my head feels like cement and I just feel drained of all energy.  I just want to sleep.  I'm guessing it's going to start to peter out this week, but thus far, still feel ew.  I came home from work early on Friday and just slept.  It was a complete write off. 

Saturday I went for breakfast with Eric and Lesley.  I don't know if it was just me not feeling well, but it was mediocre.  Lesley brought me a birthday present which always makes me happy.  A new purse (Eric thinks it's a consolation gift, little does he know this ranks high on girl's wish lists - such a boy), a new wallet and a new shirt. 

Before breakfast, we talked to Ryan who gave us the bad news that they were putting their beloved dog down later that afternoon.  He was now at the point where his quality of life was compromised.  It was a sad day.  Monty is probably the best dog I know.  And that's saying a lot as I'm pretty picky and particular about the dogs in my life.  I'm clearly a cat person.  But Monty was amazing. He had an old soul and he was such a good dog.  Few and far between.  Ryan and Monty has been a team for many, many years and I know how lost Ryan's going to feel without him.  It was a tough decision, but the right decision.  We told them we'd stop by to see them on Sunday before we left Toronto. 

It took us 3+ hours to get to Toronto from Niagara Falls on Saturday night.  Neither of us were happy campers.  Damn Jon and his birthday BBQ.  It was just a small gathering with a few of Jon's friends.  All of them were super nice until Talley (sorry Jon) got there.  She's a friend (sorry), Jon's best friend.  She clearly felt there was some invisible competition going on between her and Eric and who was Jon's better friend, blah, blah, blah.  It felt like Grade 1 all over again.  Well actually, if felt more like a group of Grade 8 catty girls, but I digress.  I wasn't too upset when she left. 

Sunday morning, we headed over to Ryan and Amber's to go for breakfast but got there too late for Amber to join us before she had to be at work because a transport truck basically ran over a little car on St. Clair Avenue, shutting the entire street down.  Again, I hate Toronto traffic.   Ryan, Eric and I ventured out for breakie and it was slightly better than Saturday's breakfast (which leads me to believe, it's my cold making it blah).  Hung out with Ryan for a couple hours then made our way, homeward bound (in under 1 1/2 hours, go figure). 

Watched the UFC from Saturday night, caught up on my celebrity gossip (wishing Lindsay Lohan would just die already).  Which brings me to a point I forgot.  Saw Machete this weekend.  It was actually really, really good.  Gorey and bloody, but decent.  Lindsay is in it.  She basically plays herself.  A coked out whore. 

Then I took a hot bath, doped myself up on cold meds and went to sleep.  Today I'm hating life still and hating the thought that in two hours I'll be back in my car headed to Toronto (AGAIN) to see SYTYCDC with my sister and her friend Ashley.  Maybe if I pass out while the taping is on, they'll give me a seat.  But on a happier note, when I got to my office this morning, on my desk waiting for me was my pretty pink cell phone.  I have to find silver linings from time to time regarding my job and what perks come with it.  Company car would be the main one but this pretty pink phone is a close second.  Now I just have to get everyone's digits again since I lost all of them in my old phone.

Mouse - 0, Oliver - 0.5, Eric - 1

This past weekend I mentioned to Eric that I was surprised that we hadn't encountered a mouse in the house yet being that the weather is turning and this is the typical time off year that they will start to venture inside looking for warmer digs.  I spoke too soon.

I was awaken last night from a shitty sleep (thanks to my cold but despite my intake of Gravol) to the familiar sounds of Oliver moaning and growling.  Those two distinct noises only mean one thing to me, he's caught himself a mouse.  And typical of Oliver and his mouse catching style, he has brought the mouse up to the invade the sanctity of my bedroom.  When I opened one eye to peak out at him, I could see him in a face off with Shakespeare and Nika.  He clearly didn't want to share his winnings with them.  Eric heard the noises at the same time (thank goodness) and got up to investigate.  He assured me that Oliver had, in his possession, one mouse, and he was pretty sure it was already dead (I, knowing Oliver and his penchant for playing with these mice for hours, didn't believe this diagnosis).  Turns out I was right.  Oliver took off with the mouse once Eric got close to him.  He sought shelter in Gage's room and placed the rodent in a pile of Gage's dirty clothes (maybe this will be enough incentive to put his dirty clothes in his hamper in his closet from now on).  When Eric approached him, he picked the mouse up and tried to bail again, but Eric has ninja-like reflexes.  Eric took the hunter and the prey outside to the front stoop and proceeded to shake the shit out of Oliver until he dropped the mouse.

So while Oliver was disappointed and upset with Eric, I can easily tell you this act of heroism has secured him a place in my heart and home.  *heart*

 Not my kitty.

Boys!

Last weekend we went to Eric's parents for a BBQ while the weather was/is still relatively decent.  We played monkey balls and got to see Mighty Felix.  Man he's growing like a weed.  He's super adorable too.  Cute babies everywhere.

This Sunday Eric's family is coming by for birthday cake.  I'm going to be so caked out this coming week.  We've done cake on Wednesday night with my family for my b-day, at work on Thursday because it was Kent's last day (of which I am uber uber sad), then left over cake here and there from the original Wednesday night, then cake on Sunday and then we're doing cake at work on Tuesday for my birthday. I'm really going to need that hydro-colonic next month. 

Here are some pics from Sunday at Jill and Larry's:

Chris, Felix and Eric

Gage and Roan

Eric

Purr-fect!

My kitties are pretty awesome.  'Nuff said. Could only have been better if Shakespeare was also there. 

Birthday presents.

It's my birthday.  I'm older.  They say with age comes wisdom and I truly believe I am wiser at 36 than I was at 26 so there must be some truth in that statement.

Last night I went to Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville here in the Falls for my birthday dinner with two of my favourite ladies, Margaret and Jodi.  I forgot my camera but Jodi had hers so it's a waiting game to see if she even posts the few pictures we took.  We had the equivalent of 6 drinks each. I had a Berry Colada and it was effing glorious.  I could have drank them all night.  We just ordered a few appetizers to share between us as they were so big.  They too were delicious.  I'm sure I'll go there again. Margie brought me a little present for me to open when we got there.  It's a disgusting, lame,  amazing fanny pack.  Kind of in honour of Jodi's amazing fanny pack.  It's so I can go hands free at Disney.  I have to admit it's not nearly as pathetic as it could have been and I hope to rock it as well as Tyra does.  Also got to see Mr. Darby poopy-pants and god he's just so super adorable.  I want to squish him all up.  Roan wants to go visit him later this week and I'm totally down with that. 

I came home from dinner feeling pretty good and found the best birthday card from Eric ever.  Instead of it being a card with money inside it's a money card with a note inside.  Bestest ever!  And the note itself was pretty sweet.  

Dream a little Dream

Last night I had a dream that I had a baby boy.  No name mentioned in my dream, I had Gage and Roan in the dream so it wasn't one of them.  And no obvious mention of the father of said child, however my ex-husband showed up in the dream towards the end of it.  I remember giving him the baby to watch (they were in a kitchen) while I went and changed the babies sheets. When I came back into the kitchen, the ex was reading something, not paying attention to the baby and he had placed the baby in the kitchen sink full of water and the baby was face down, drowning.  I panicked, pulled the baby out of the water and started infant CPR.  At this point my panic must have gotten the better of me because I woke up in a start. 

After going to the washroom and going back to bed, my dream picked up with me still having a baby.  Obviously he survived the kitchen sink mishap.  Thank god.  I was going in to get him up from his crib.  He was atleast 2 months old.  He was a happy baby.  I started to change his diaper and made the conscious realization that I hadn't had to change a poopy diaper yet and that I was worried he was going to have an upset stomach.  As anyone would who hadn't pooped in two months.  Then I couldn't get the diaper to fit him properly.  Oh and Roan came in the room, dropped a tool box on his foot and cried.  I yelled at him to shut up or he'd upset the baby.  Then I woke up.  Weird.  Here's what I learned from the wide world web:

To dream that you had a baby, suggests that you are giving birth to a new idea or project. It can also represents new beginnings or some upcoming event.

To see a "dead" baby in your dream indicates that some attribute or feature that you possess no longer exists.

To dream that you are dipping a baby in or out of water implies that you wish that you didn't have to face such burdening obligations. This dream may be representative of your desire to seek  a place of solace and relief.

To dream about someone drowning indicates that you are investing too much in some situation that you cannot control. This dream may also indicate that you have lost your individuality. You can't tell the difference between the different persona you wear.

To dream about your ex-boyfriend/husband indicates that people currently in your life are reminding you of those same feelings you had back then. This dream could be warning you that you are falling into a repeating pattern in relationships. You should consider the harsh lessons you may have dealt with in these past experiences so you don't repeat them. Sometimes, however, past encounters can be satisfying episodes in your life. This dream may also indicate things you have 'X'd' out within yourself.

**All interesting....though not sure how much I believe this stuff. 

I guess the only reason I really found it strange that I dreamt about a baby is that my friend, Kori, posted on my Facebook page last week that she had a dream that I had a baby girl.  And today at work, one of my co-workers Marnie mentioned she dreamt last night that she had a baby girl, newborn who could talk.  Both of us have been 'spayed' so the odds are not good that either of us are pregnant. 

 

Ticket# 206044!

Went to the Niagara District BBQ last night.  It's been a couple of years since I've gone to one and it was a great turn out.  Awesome to see friends in the business, who I usually only get to talk to on Facebook and stuff and meet new ones.  Dinner was good eats as well. 

I decided early in the evening to spend the $10.00 for 'prize tickets' a la stag and doe prize tables.  And typical of my past experiences of being a lucky prize recipient at most stag and does, I cleaned up nicely last night as well.  I won myself an Ipod speaker system that I can also hook up to my  Eric's PSP and I won a $25 gift card for Tim Horton's which I plan to regift to the ladies at Gage's Orthodonist because I've missed our last two appointments.  D'OH!  I just have to figure out if I'm going to keep the speaker system or regift it for Christmas!

Birthday'd!!

Only really ONE more shopping day left for you to get my birthday present!  I'll make it easy, I'm happy with money. 

Yesterday we did my family birthday cake and ice cream.  My mom and dad came over with a white chocolate raspberry cake and my brother and his family, as well as my sister all came by.  They all gave me money for my Disney trip which is exactly what I wanted.  I know it's boring but it makes me happy.  Eric is going to build me two book shelves (two to get me started) so after 3 years I'll finally be able to get some of my books off the floor of Eric's office.  I'm actually quite excited to be able to place all my books neatly on shelves interspersed with knick knacks, pictures frames, etc (though I don't have too many of those).  That's the wannabe professional organizer coming out of me. 

Tonight I have a BBQ to go to (figures, it's completely shitty out) for the Niagara District Funeral Services Association.  It's more of a social event than a meeting so I don't mind going to these.  And they feed me steak. 

Tomorrow I'm going for a birthday dinner with Jodi and Margie to Margaritaville (Jimmy Buffet's?).  I'm looking forward to hanging with my ladies.  Sunday we're having Eric's family over for birthday cake and then Monday it's off to SYTYCDC!! Busy girl. 

So for now, I'm off and running.  Happy Birthday to me!!

Eye Candy

Turns out that Margie is unable to accompany me to the So You Think You Can Dance Canada taping next Monday.  Huge bummer cause we had so much fun last time.  Instead I've extended the invite to my aunt Laurie because she was a little (more like lots) green with envy when I got to go last time. 

She's worried they won't let us in because we're too old.  I'm worried I won't be able to see Mr. Handsome Pants himself, Blake McGrath from where ever they put us.  THAT would be epic disappointment.  I'm hoping I can get Leah's attention and maybe sweet talk her into getting us up on the catwalks.  Or maybe I'll just politely ask the door people if we can go up there when we check in. Either way I'm so excited.  Eric says I'm so gay.  Whatever. 

Pill Poppin' Goodness

It's probably a good thing I don't have a ready supply of prescription narcotics at my disposal or the knowledge of how to get a ready supply at my disposal.  I can, without hesisation, tell you I would be a prescription pill addict if this were to be the case. 

I heart Gravol.  Like I mean I really, really love it.  I love the wave of drowsiness that overcomes me when I take a couple of Gravols.  I love the way I sleep completely soundly on the nights I take one.  And if you know me at all, you know how much I love to sleep.

What I don't like is the Gravol hangover you have for the entire next day.  But like any good pill popper I find the justification in still taking them.  I do my best not to take them during the week because I know how difficult it will be to get up and motivated the next working day.  But I love the comfort in knowing there is a supply in my nightside table drawer should I need one.  I know, I know, lame. 

Yesterday I had to replenish my supply and found 100 mg caplets.  Normally I only buy the 50 mg ones.  I found this very exciting (like a true closet addict) and bought this box.  Eric asked if he could have one (normally I don't share my pills) but I was feeling so proud (and like the neighbourhood drug dealer trying to convince him of how wonderful they were) I gave him one.  We slept til 11 a.m. today.  That's unheard of for Eric!  I stayed awake for an hour watching It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia and then I went back to sleep for 2 more hours.  What a waste of a day.  I'm never doing Gravol again.

Who am I kidding?  I can hardly wait 'til next Friday night.

Never Forgotten

I can't begin to believe it's already been 9 years since one event changed the world so drastically.  I remember growing up people would always say, "Do you remember where you were when JFK was shot?  Or when Martin Luther King was assassinated."  My dad could tell you precisely what he was doing when JFK was shot and killed and I've heard the story so much that I could tell you what my dad was doing the day JFK died.   

My generation sadly has one of those questions that everyone asks as well.  "Where were you when the towers came down?"  There is no need to specify what towers we're talking about.  Everybody knows. 

I had just gotten home from taking Gage to his second week of Junior Kindergarten and now I was up with Roan.  He was not quite 4 months old.  My husband at the time called me at 9 a.m,  he was working days.   He told me to turn e tv on because a plane had flown into one of the World Trade Center Towers.  So I flicked on our "too big" t.v. and it was all over the news.   Immediately I thought it was just a mere accident.  Not understanding how not really possible that would be.  I also thought or maybe hoped that it was just a small plane manned by some inexperienced pilot.  But there was so much chatter and unprofessionalism from the newscasters.  And I don't mean that in a negative way.  I mean that in a 'human' way.  There was no way they could stay on script.  I think they understood this was very serious.  They maybe knew something I didn't or suspected something I was too naive to think of.

Shortly after turning on the television the second plane hit the second tower and based on the panicked reaction of the newcasters I understood the severity of the mornings events as I  was sitting in my quaint living room with my new son watching the sanctity of my  outside world, as I knew it, fall apart.  I remember the uneasy feeling in my gut to watch the plane almost tear through the building and the sick queasy feeling I got knowing this wasn't a Hollywood movie with great special effects.   Within the hour I watched as the buildings buckled and killed thousands and thousands of people, I remember vomiting from the angst I felt.  I remember sitting there silently crying, then loudly crying.  I remember trying to tend to Roan who wanted to be fed and changed and held and played with and going through the motions all the while my eyes glued to the tv.  Praying this was it.  Then hearing about the downed plane in the feild in Pennsylvania and the plane crashing into the Pentagon.  I remember panicking and thinking where next?  Wondering if Niagara Falls would be a target.  Maybe not today but some day....  I remember looking down at my son who was just born and later in the day looking over at my other son who ignorantly and naively played with his toys and wondering what kind of world I've brought them into and how was I to protect them.

I remember going to pick Gage up at 11:45 a.m from class and standing there with the other parents, shocked and stunned.  I remember the eerie feeling of hearing no planes or helicopters in the sky.  Just the silence of the day.  The eerie silence.  And I remember I couldn't stop crying.   I remember just being genuinely sad and afraid.   I remember being afraid because even the people who shouldn't be afraid (those running our country, those running the USA) were also afraid. We were all so afraid. We knew our lives would never be the same.

And here we are 9 years later and we sit and wait for something of this magnitude to happen to us once again. Or atleast I do.  I fear that won't be it.  We have troops still over trying to fight for our safetly but I'm not sure it isn't all in vain.  Some of these soldiers were mere kids when this went down.  Now they are 18, 19 years old fighting for our rights.  It just doesn't make sense to me. 

I never have to try not to forget.  That just isn't possible.  The events of that day and the way the world has changed since will forver be ingrained in my soul.

Get'er done.

So on Friday I had to do the inevitable 'sit down' with one of my employees about their demeanor and work habits, or lack there of.  This is one part of the job I loathe.  Deep down inside I'm still a decent person and hurting someone's feelings intentionally never makes me feel great, though that wasn't the purpose of the meeting.  Especially when I actually like the  person.  That being said, it doesn't mean I like working with the person. 

So after weeks and months of having high tolerance I've come to a point where I can honestly say I've been hating my job.  I'm becoming more and more bitter because of one employee.  This is the first time I have ever been able to say that about my career and it saddens me. 

I've had many small conversations with said employee as issues happen, but this needed to be a serious sit down where everything is put on paper and they understand the severity of the meeting.  Normally they just blow things off.  So my manager came down and the three of us sat down for the meeting.  I wasn't sure how the meeting was going to go off.  Wasn't sure if it would be easier if the employee broke down, quit and ran out or did what they did and apologized and promised to do better.  They've been given 3 months to pull their socks up and with unease I know they'll be able to do this.  I just don't think it will last and I'll be having to have this conversation again further down the road and that frustrates me to no end.  When I signed on for this job it wasn't to babysit adults or funeral director's with double the experience that I have. 

Anyway, I've said my point and I think the seriousness of the situation came across, so I guess only time will tell what will transpire.  I hate ending work weeks on this kind of note.  Hopefully Monday will be much better.

Who's a lucky girl?

This girl! ME! 
I just got an email saying I've been assigned two tickets to So You Think You Can Dance Canada for the September 20th show.  I can't think of a more fitting birthday present to give myself. 

STOKED!!! (is putting it mildly)

America's Next Top Model

It's, thankfully, that time of year again people!!  It's Tyra time.  A time for her to make a complete ass out of herself and I can sit back and almost feel embarrassed for her.  I can hardly wait to see what this season's antics will bring.  Will she fake a french accent?  Will she be a space alien?

This year we're going 'high fashion' with cycle 15.  Which basically means ugly chicks and me questioning how they can be models and I can't (I have pointy, sharp, angular features).

I will admit I'm a little saddened to learn that Miss J won't be acting as a judge at panel time this year.  He was always entertaining, to say the least.  But Andre Leon Talley is back so he'll fill that spot for me.  

Any further comments arguing why Miss J should remain on the judges panel need not be said.  A picture says a thousand words right?

Oh Tyra, you so stupid.

I tried to find a picture of Tyra when she and Jay Manuel dressed up as "aliens" in cycle 12 (I think) but couldn't find one.  I found this one instead and it's so much better than anything I could have imagined. 

It's Wednesday, 8 p.m.  Shoulders back, head high, and shmize, shmize, shmize!  LATER BITCHES!!!

The tiny cobra sleeps....

I never thought I'd be able to make the following statement but....

Eric is the WORST person to play video games with.  Unless of course it's the games he wants to play and you are a cyber friend and it's 2 a.m.  Then he's the best person to play games with. 

Winner by unanimous decision....Mother "The Bitch" Nature!

Came home from an afternoon of errands to find this waiting for us in the backyard.  Thankfully I have a spare table top or I'd be pissed.  What a mess.

Waffalot!

Went to catch up at William's Pub with Lesley tonight.  We don't see each other as often as we used to so she had lots to fill me in on.  We did it over that stuff below.  We're gluttons.  I'm gonna look like shit in my bathing suit in Florida.

YUM!

A kid at heart.

So today I paid off the Disney portion of the trip.  It's a good feeling.  I've already bought and paid for the Universal Studios portion of the trip.  I'm going to take a loss on Eric's two tickets and meal plan for two days, but maybe if his name isn't attached to them I'll do the good samaritan thing and hand one to a couple of people at the main entrance who haven't bought their tickets yet and make their day. The pass is good for both parks and for two days.  And then I can be a good person and hand over to two other people the unlimited dining plans for the day at Universal.  I can 'pay it foward' so they say.  We'll see how generous I'm feeling by the 6th day in a row of amusement parks.

I also bought extra tickets to the Mickeys Very Merry Christmas Party and Parade.  So on Monday of the week we're there we'll be able to stay in the Magic Kingdom after close at 7 p.m. until midnight and celebrate Christmas the way Disney does it up.  There's going to be a parade and fireworks and cookies and hot cocoa and it's going to 'snow' on Main Street and, and....why am I getting so giddy?

Oh ya, that's why!!  Anyway, that's something I have to look forward to that I wasn't even aware was going to be on while we were there.  So extra exciting now.

I've got all of our dinner reservations booked as well.  Everything on the menus looks so yummy and I can almost hardly wait just to eat.  We're doing the Sci Fi Diner where we sit in convertibles and watch drive in movies while we eat.  We're doing the 50's Diner where the wait staff all play the appropriate roles for the name of the restaurant.  We're eating, another night, in the midst of the world's largest aquarium. Of course it's a seafood restaurant.  Irony intended I think.  And of course we have to do one character dinner with Pooh and the gang.  And then we're doing a Signature Dinner with a fancy dancy restaurant where we have to abide by a dress code.  That should prove to be interesting with my two boys.   I hope they have as much fun as I intend to.

Lonesome Traveller

So it looks like the decision has been made.  Eric won't be joining me on my Disney trip in November.  He went through all that crap a week or so ago and it made him re-evaluate his financial situation, so that's the main reason.  As well, he has an opportunity to meet with a couple prospective employers in his field during the Royal Winter Fair in Toronto the same week we had planned to go.  I've taken a look at my finances and if I really stretched it I could probably pay for all of us and our flights, but I'd be very stressed out and it wouldn't leave me much spending money and frankly he wouldn't allow me to do that. 

So it looks like I'll be traveling alone with two boys to Florida.  We're calling on Tuesday to try to rearrange the reservations thus far and there are no penalties as long as it's done 45 days prior to our arrival which it will be.  I'm hoping I can finagle a way to work out the free dining plan promotion.  I'll have to research all that before we call to make the cancellation.  That would be an added bonus. 

I'm still looking forward to the trip.  Though I'm bummed to be doing it alone, when I originally told the boys I'd take them I had assumed it would just be me and them so I guess it's not that big of a deal.  There will be more than enough to keep me busy and since I'm staying on the Disney grounds and Disney is picking us up at the airport I shouldn't worry about getting too lost in a foreign country with my kids. And I'll probably be so exhausted at the end of each day that we'll just pass out anyway. I'm probably going to be most bummed that he isn't there to partake in my Harry Potter amusement park excitement.  I'm going to burst with glee that day.

I wasn't aware I signed on for this...

Today we buried a 20 year old.  It was probably one of the largest funerals I have participated in in my entire career.  His friends milled around, lost and not knowing what to do with themselves.  His parent's friends all took time out of their lives to come and support the family and secretly thank "whomever" that it isn't their child.  His parents are destroyed.  And that is putting it mildly. 

I wish people would think about their actions before completing them.  I don't think people realize how dire a bad decision can be and how it completely changes the lives of those around them.  I know kids subcumb to peer pressure and the desire to be cool and fit in can be so strong that one is willing to do whatever it takes.  It's devastating to sit across from these parents and make funeral arrangments with them.  It steals a piece of our souls, a little at a time.  And we don't even know the deceased.

As a parent I cannot begin to wrap my head around my child dying before me.  I can't begin to empathize with them because I have ZERO idea of what it must feel like.  I trust I would have to be sedated.  I trust I would have to be carried out of the funeral home after the visiting because I refused to leave my child.  I can't imagine the desperation I'd feel walking away from them at the cemetery.  The idea makes me sick to my stomach. 

This young man lived 20 years.  Twenty years of hopes and dreams for his parents snuffed out in one decision.  A decision he thought wouldn't take his life.  It would make him feel better. 

So to my fellow parent friends.  If I have any advice to give you as a result of my experiences with this type of thing, please PICK YOUR BATTLES.  Ask yourself, is this worth yelling and screaming over?  Because I can tell you this, I know of one mother who would kill to have to wipe pee off the toilet seat just one more time. 

Love your children.  Give them happy memories.  Listen to them.  Talk to them.  Praise them.  Discipline them when necessary, but don't sweat the small stuff.  Life is just too damn short.

History repeats itself.

My child is turning into me.  More and more each day.  I remember when I was in Grade 9 and I asked my mom for a pair of Doc Marten's.  She told me no way was she paying over a hundred bucks for a pair of shoes for me so I might as well get a job.  Which I did.  I got my first job at Burger King when I was 13 years old. 

Well fast forward 23 years and my son is asking me for $90.00 shoes.  He is so hard on his shoes that I have a really hard time swallowing the idea of $90.00 shoes that are only going to last a couple of months.  He begged and was super cute and adorable which is a pleasant change from his usual 13 year old sarcastic self so I agreed to assist him with the help of his father. 

They don't look like they are worth ninety bucks to me. 

Top Model

About a year ago, maybe longer, my brother Geoff and his wife Anita began a photography company called Through A Cracked Lens.  It's horror inspired photography. Subtle, with a touch of the creepy.  It's a pretty brilliant idea.  Anyway, they've been having success with it and have produced numerous different photos/ideas.  You can see their work on the website or facebook page. 

I've already had the priviledge of participating in a photo last year called "Found".  You get the idea of what it is:

This May, Anita approached me again about doing another picture with them.  Of course I said sure.  They don't normally show faces so I was game.  This time was different.  Thank goodness I watch America's Next Top Model which taught me how to "shmize".  Turns out it wasn't going to be a shmizing opportunity.  She told me I needed to wear boxer shorts, a beater and my Doc's.  Great!  Guess what?  It was COLD out!  But I'm a trooper who sticks to her word. 

It was a fun morning of fake blood, dirt, and accessories.  I spent the day running through a field in bare feet and in boots in hopes of getting a shot both Geoff and Anita would like.  Until recently I hadn't seen the pictures.  The one they chose is pretty good.  I hope it is a good seller for them. 

I have the whitest legs.  Which I guess is good considering the idea was that I was being held captive and made my escape thinking I was in the clear and he was out there waiting for me. 

This year they made a calendar with some of their photos and it's awesome.  Can't wait to pick one up.  Please take a moment to go check out their work.

Hungry babies = Frustrated mamas

Last week I went to visit one of my favourite little beaners, Darby.  My friend Jodi had him (her first) on the 2nd of August.  He's such an adorable little peanut.  I just want to eat him up. 

Turns out she's been hitting her wall, which is so unlike Jodi who's all about the "peace, love and granola".  Seems motherhood has been taking its toll on her patience.  Poor little Darby has a tendency to cry.  A lot.  Which is so weird cause he seems so sweet when I'm there holding him.  ;)   Last week she had a day where he started crying at 8 in the morning and didn't stop until 3 in the afternoon.  Oi vey!  She decided to try pumping some milk and spent 2 hours attached to a machine to only produce 1 1/2 oz.  Frustrating.  So after determining that she hasn't been producing enough food for the little beaner she made the decision to supplement her milk with formula every other meal.  And man oh man is that little guy a happy bird.  He was just so hungry.  But rest assured, he's thriving and content now!  I remember going through that EXACT same thing with Gage when he was a baby as well.  I felt terrible, like the worst mother in the world for starving her baby, but it turns out it's so common. 

Happy happy peanut!