Monday, November 29, 2010

The Roanster

My son Roan is pretty amazing.  He's smart, funny, outgoing, quirky, and adorable, but he doesn't believe he's any of these things.  He has extremely low self esteem and while it is frustrating to me, it's more heart breaking.  He's always bashing himself and putting down everything he does.  He focuses only on the negative even when there is no negative to focus on.  We have to be careful about anything we say to him because he will turn it and make it a negative.

About a year and a half ago Roan was diagnosed with ADD and Tourette Syndrome.  Thankfully he doesn't display too much hyperactivity or compulsiveness with the ADD.  His downfall is the inability to focus or concentrate.  Or rather the ability to focus and concentrate on too many things at a time.  And with the Tourette's he doesn't have any major tics thus far so for that I'm extremely grateful because children can be very cruel.  None of his friends at this point, are even aware he has this disorder and if they do, it doesn't seem to matter to them.  I hope we can keep it that way. 

A major symptom of these disorders is low self esteem.  I've taken some extreme heat from my ex suggesting it is my poor parenting skills that have resulted in his low self esteem (this coming from a very part time parent who has no real idea what it's like on a full time basis), I've put him in counselling (thankfully that helps some) and we've altered his meds (which helped to peter out some of the negativity).  We have been trying to find an extra curricular activity that Roan enjoys because it's what HE likes to do, not because his brother likes it.  We've finanlly discovered drawing is Roan's passion.  And frankly he's getting so good at it.  He gets caught up on what to draw sometimes, but when he's into it, he's really into it. 

We signed him up for Art classes and for the first time we didn't listen to him whine and complain about having to go to something.  Well last weekend his father forgot to take him to his last class so Roan's bummed that he didn't get to pick up all the stuff he'd been working on.  And I guess I'm a little bummed about it too.  I'm hoping we'll be able to catch the instructor there soon and pick up his projects. 

Anyway, last week he came home from school with another drawing and it is AMAZING.  He, of course, thinks it's stupid and ugly.  I'm going to take it to Michael's and get a frame for it and hang it in the house.  Somewhere prominent for all to see.  I think I'd be devastated if he gives up on his drawing.

1 comment:

  1. Great post, Holly. He is really getting good with his art, and you are right, it would be heartbreaking if he stopped. It is so sad to think about kids that young having self esteem issues, they should be feeling invulnerable and perfect. He's really making strides and so much of that is due to you and how well you are working with him. Keep it up, you are both doing great.