I have been known to say "I neglect the friends I already have, I don't really need anymore." But that's not overly true. I received a text message the other day that made me smile. I smiled because I like when something old becomes new again. Even when it pertains to friendships. Maybe I'm starting to rethink this whole "I have enough friends" mentality. It's not that I have enough friends, it's that I don't have enough time to share with them. Throughout almost 4 decades on this Earth, I really have been blessed with an abundant amount of people in my life. I am lucky to state that I have never felt alone in this world. I know not everyone can make that statement. Friendship...it's a weird thing.
There are those friends I can go extremely long periods of time without actually speaking with but pick up right where we left off when we see each other again. Cliche I know, but they accept my laziness and I theirs, and understand that sometimes life just gets in the way. They don't hold it against me nor I them. We are reliable when it matters the most and always just a phone call or Facebook message away.
Then there are the friends I thought would be around always, the ones I have created amazing memories and laughs with, but now they have faded to black, and frankly I'm not terribly upset about it. Nothing major happened, they've just clearly served their purpose. It was a different time in a different world I supposed. At first it was a little depressing, but after time I've come to realize that I don't really miss them in the proper sense of that word. I've come to terms with the fact that they can't be bothered to try even if infrequently, therefore neither can I.
And then there are the friends who I broke up with for very valid reasons but have some how made their way back into my life even if in a different capacity. Those ones that disappointed me but over time I forgave, moved on and allowed them back in. Sure it's not quite the same as it was before, but it's nice having them back even on a part time basis.
And of course there are friends who are really just strong acquaintances but are so much more than just a person I know that I still refer to them as friends, even if I never ever see them. And Facebook makes me feel this way about more and more people every day. And that's not a bad thing. It just reiterates how blessed I am to have so many diverse people in my life in some way.
Then there are the people I once knew back in the day and thanks to social media, like Facebook, I've sort of kept in touch with them; but then something major happens and they're hurled into my life full throttle and it's a great thing. It's crazy to know I grew up with these people, so to speak, and now with some of them, our kids are playing together and want to hang out with each other. Two generations of friends. How strangely weird and awesome. I've found a way to meld my old life with my new life and that's exciting for me. For the longest time I was the only one of my friends with kids. Now, that's not the case. I love having friends who are going through similar experiences.
And then there are my kids who I hope will one day grow up to be my friends. (Just 'cause they're pretty rad and so am I.) We already kind of are, but there will always be that whole 'I'm your parent so I can't be you friend too' thing lurking in the shadows. But I can tell you this without any bias, I would want to be friends with both my kids if I was their age. They are pretty decent human beings thus far.
And then there is my boyfriend/partner/mate/common law hubby/whatever you call him who is most importantly my friend in all those titles. At this point of time in my last long term relationship I was feeling caught and trying to figure out how to get out of it. I wasn't really having much fun anymore but because there were kids involved we persevered for another 5 years. We weren't really friends anymore. But at the 4 year mark with Eric I'm genuinely not feeling like that at all. I'm quite grateful that we are still friends after this much time together. I considered him one before we started dating, and I'm glad I'm still able to consider him one now.
"In every one's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle our inner spirit. - Albert Schwietzer
All so true and social media as so complicated the definition of friendship in both good and bad ways.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully and naturally written ;)
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