Warning: Somewhat graphic poop post. Beware.
These are two entirely separate and unprovoked converstions I had with my children. They occured on different days in entirely different months. Some how I'm truly blessed.
Gage: Mom, I took the biggest dump (though I think he used the word shit) at work today. Like no kidding, the biggest shit I've ever taken in my life. Like it filled the entire toilet. I couldn't believe it. Wasn't sure it would even flush. It was seriously massive.
Me: That's lovely Gage.
Gage: I just thought you'd want to know.
Me: Yes, thank you. I totally did.
Roan: Mom! I just took the longest poop ever. And I don't mean the amount of time I was in the bathroom. It's seriously the biggest poop. Like as long as ruler.
Me: Did you flush the toilet?
Roan: Not yet, it's for real the longest poop I've ever taken, like this long (and proceeds to hold his hands about a foot apart).
Me: Jesus Roan, go flush the damn toilet, I don't want to see it.
Sigh, boys are wonderful. Boys are truly, truly wonderful. A real gift!