Over the past few weeks I kept stumbling across those pictures with quotes on them. You know the ones inundating your news feed on Facebook, day in and day out? Ya those. They seem to be haunting me wherever I turn...Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit... Anywho's there were a couple in particular that made me stop to ponder. I don't remember what exactly they said, so I'll ad-lib. It insinuated that a good relationship takes hard work and the desire to keep on trying, or something like that. I actually read a few of these over time before I broached a conversation with Eric about it.
I mentioned what they said and then promptly followed up with how much I disagreed with that statement. FUCK that noise. If a relationship is hard work then you probably aren't with the right person. My thought is you shouldn't have to keep trying or work hard to have a good relationship. It SHOULD be easy and come naturally if you are with the right person for you. You shouldn't be shedding tons of tears over your mate, unless of course they are happy tears or mutual tears because you, as a couple, are going through a difficult situation. You shouldn't regularly shed tears because of something your mate has done to hurt you, be it physically, mentally or emotionally. I call complete and utter bullshit on those particular photo/quotes.
So now I'll segue into my Eric's birthday part. So the point of me mentioning the above and my disbelief in those statements is because I don't find my relationship very hard or even the slightest bit hard with Eric. And maybe you believe me or maybe you don't as no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors with a couple, but it's really that simple.
I can count on one hand how many 'fights' we've had in our four years together and those were mainly during the learning curve and had to do with the boys and Eric's inexperience with having kids. Don't get me wrong, I've been in a relationship where it was hard, fucking hard if I'm being totally blunt. Hard to bite my tongue, hard to restrain my resentment, hard to love him, hard to even like him at times, hard to feel content in my relationship. I most certainly wasn't and I stayed in it FAR too long and had I read some of those quotes back then I likely would have thought that was normal and my destiny. Mae West said it best, "All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else." Respect yourself enough to know you deserve the very best.
Anyway, back to Eric because that's where I'm supposed to be, literally and figuratively. He is very different from me, yet similar - if that makes any sense. We abhor each others taste in music for the most part, but luckily have a few favourite bands/musicians in common to keep us from killing each other on road trips. He likes running, I want to splash runners with my car. His crafty projects don't interest me and mine don't terribly interest him. But we seem to really appreciate each other's finished product and efforts. He's handy dandy, I have a house! He has a very low tolerance for stupid people, I am water off my back. He is nit picky with the boys, I'm the coolest parent ever! (Jeez, kidding). He's a pothead, I am not. Sometimes I like to go out drinking, he's my designated driver because he doesn't. I watched Dr. Who with him, he watched Ru Paul's Drag Race with me. Even when I'm rolling my eyes, he makes me laugh. We trust each other completely. There really are so many other great things I could mention about the Eric and Holly combination (in my eyes). I don't normally feel the need to post mushy gushy stuff about Eric, because I'm content in how I feel about him. I don't need to share it with the world day in and day out. I don't look to the future and know he won't be with me, like my last relationship. I genuinely see him beside me for the long haul.
I did see this one quote posted on Pinterest that made me immediately think about Eric and our relationship. It really does sum us up in a nutshell and it made me smile.
Anyway, today is his birthday. Another year celebrating it with me. We don't do much for our birthdays but we do know we'll be spending it together and eventually later in the evening, with the boys. We like each others company, we enjoy spending our time together. I'm glad he has chosen to celebrate another milestone with me by his side. I've been very lucky to have him in my life. To me, a successful relationship is all about falling in love with the SAME person over and over again. He is my person.
Happy Birthday Eric. Each year I love you more and more.