Gone in the Blink of an Eye

Today when I got home from work and found my T-4 in my mailbox my reaction was one of shock, delight and surprise.  All because my company got them out early this year and my dear friends, that has NEVER happened.  I even said out loud  and with delight that I was going to do my taxes this weekend!  Yippee!  Then it dawned on me that it was the 29th of February and they actually left it until the very last day possible to get it to me, like ALWAYS.  But further more, what the hell happened to my February and where did it go? 

I'm not gonna lie though, I was pleasantly surprised to see the final salary figure and to learn I made a substantial amount of money more than I had thought.  So another question, what the hell happened to all my money and where did it go?

Unhappy Valentine's Day Mom!!!

See that sweet homemade Valentine's card Roan drew and then gave to Eric?  Go on, take a look it's right down there below this sentence. 

Pretty rad eh?  Too bad I didn't get one.  Nope, notta, nothing, zilch, zip, zero.  Me?  Oh I'm just the woman who gave him life from the time he was a mere cluster of cells, the one who looks after him when he's sick, the one that picks up after him and does his laundry, the one who hugs him and tickles him and takes him out to dinner and to buy Bey Blades.  The one who tells him she loves him every single day, the one that watches Sponge Bob Square Pants with him.  The one who makes him a lunch and drives him to his friends houses, the one who 9/10 times says yes when he asks for a sleepover.  Ya, I didn't get a card.  I'm not bitter.  Not at all.  (No really I'm not.  I think it's sweet that he does this stuff for Eric.)

Saturday Road Trip

I heard on the radio earlier this month that the Canadian Auto Show would have a Bugatti Veyron this year, so I mentioned it to Roan.  It's his favourite car and since it's completely out of my price range, the odds of him actually seeing it in the chrome were pretty slim.  Taking this as probably the only opportunity he'd have he suggested we go and take Eric's dad, Larry with us as a birthday present to him because he loves cars so much.  So that's just what we did last weekend. 

We braved the ridiculous first day crowds and went to look at sleek and expensive cars.  The only part that was even remotely entertaining for me was the very first room we hit and that was the really awesome, expensive shit.  The rest of the show was meh.  It was hot, crowded, boring (if you don't give a rats ass about cars) and required a lot of walking.  Not sure that I'll ever feel the need to do another car show like this again.  One time is more than enough for this girl.

After the show we stopped in Burlington for a birthday dinner with Larry and Jill at Tucker's Market Place.  I haven't been there in probably two decades, and I really enjoyed it.  The food was decent quality for a buffet, but a tad pricey.  And even this place got crowded and busier the longer we were there so we still had to fight the swarms of people.  It was a long day but it gave us something to do and we spent the day with Eric's parents.

Theme Parties Rock!

Theme parties are a lot of fun!  Part of the fun is the shopping experience before hand when out looking for just the right outfit, and part of the fun is that we're now at a point in our lives where we aren't embarrassed to make fun of ourselves.  Had this opportunity presented itself 20 years ago I'd have been too cool to bother.  (Though secretly I'd have wished for the nerve to pull it off.)

Last night a group of us headed out to an old friend/aquaintance's stag and doe.  It was 80's themed.  When I got married a decade ago (yeesh!) we did the 80's theme as well and I remember having lots of fun with it then.    Last night didn't disappoint.  It was a good night with tons of laughter, reunions with people I haven't seen in a long time, hang outs with people I wish I saw more, drinks a plenty and winning prizes! 

The best part was seeing everyone's outfits and the sea of neon colours.  There was so much polyester in that building, it should have been deemed a fire hazard.  I found my sweet dress at Value Village for $8.  It came complete with shoulder pads and a slew of stains.  I, embarrassingly, had the body stocking at home.  The shoes were also a Value Village score for $5 and the enamel earrings (which so reminded me of my mom) cost me $2.  I already had the crimping iron from Anita's summertime "white trash party" and I'm so glad I didn't do my usual Holly move and toss it in the garbage after using it (figuring I'd never have reason to use it again).

So here's a few pictures of the night.  If you want to see more you can check them out on my facebook page.  I'm so grateful for good times and good memories.  I really wish I had more desire to host a party like this of my own. I just can't be bothered.  So good luck to Mikey and Germaine on their upcoming nuptuals and thanks for the fun party last night. 

Fighting the Fight

I never really thought the day would come that I would be posting a blog about what I'm going to talk about shortly.  I have for my entire life, relied on the fact that I had been blessed with good genes and a decent metabolism.  However, I had also heard many times before, that eventually I would run out of luck and so it seems I have come to that bend in the road.  (Thanks dad for making the first 35 years or so of my life relatively easy in this department!) 

Excluding pregnancies, I have only ever gotten to a point in my life where I realized I had started to lose my luck one other time.  I hit the gym and within four months, I was back to the weight I was most comfortable at.  Then I met a guy and lost all motivation to go to the gym and work out.  I know, it's normal, yah, yah.  However, I find myself coming close to tipping the scales at that previous weight again.  I also find myself not comfortable in my own skin.  And that has to be the worst feeling for me.  I don't want to wear nice clothes, I don't even want to put jeans on.  I could live in yoga pants and t-shirts from this day forward if I stay at this weight or move up.  I'm beginning to understand the struggles overweight people go through.  I'm not comfortable physically.  I'm beginning to 'get it'. 

Any who, I've decided to head back to the gym.  Eric and I had started to go to the gym last year but he isn't interested in doing the classes so I worked out on the machines with him.  I found it completely redundant.  I'd get bored easily (maybe Roan's got a little of his ADD from me afterall!), if it started to ache, I'd just move to another machine instead of pushing past it...This type of working out just wasn't working for me!  I'd had success by attending the aerobics classes put on at the gym.  I would work out solidly for 45 - an hour with pride.  I figured if the heavier woman, or the older woman, or that woman over there who clearly had no co-ordination could do it, then I better not lag behind. I had better keep up with them.  Push through the pain and burn.  And when I'd leave there, I'd be sweaty (like a dude!) and red in the face and hungry and spent and feeling really, REALLY good about myself.  I'd still have the flushed face an hour or two after working out.  That's what I'm looking forward to again.  And you know what?  I know I'll get results.  I've seen them in the past and I want them again. I want that body again.  It was the first time I'd truly loved my body since I was 18. 

So tomorrow I start back at the gym.  Of course I wrenched my back this weekend, so I figure it's best to start with some Yoga to help stretch it out.  I plan to do 3 - 4 classes a week; Mon thru Thurs. with my weekends free.  The classes I prefer are a mix of cardio, weights, core training, just over all body shaping.  That's what I want.  I didn't change my diet last time and I don't plan to change it too much this time either.  I did however, cut out snacks after 8 p.m. when I was working out last time and that seemed to help too.  I'm also trying to eat more smaller meals/snacks throughout the day after speaking with my guts doctor.  I think going down to one meal a day was counter-productive for my metabolism.  Ho hum, live and learn. 
So here's the part I'm dreading typing the most.  The statistics so to speak.  I'm also going to have Eric take a before picture (though I won't post it unless I'm successful and have a stellar after shot to post alongside it!).

Date:  February 21, 2012
Age:  37 1/2  years old (I know, it's crazy.  I don't look a day over 25!)
Weight:  150 lbs (GASP!!)
Height:  5'8" (thank god, this frame helps carry that weight fairly well)
Ideal weight goal:  125 -130 lbs (lets be realistic, I AM 5'8" tall people)
Current measurements (allbeit crude measurements as I had to use a tape measure rather than a measuring tape.  They sound the same but frankly one is a lot colder on my body and more rigid and made for measuring flat surfaces, but I'm getting the jist.)
Upper arms:  12" (thought I'd start with the smallest one and least painful one to type)
Chest/breasts:  37" (Women who say they don't gain weight in their boobs, lie)
Waist:  30 1/2"  (Where did my 27" inch waist go??)
Upper hip bone area/lower stomach:  38" (Gah, the saddest part in my opinion)
Hips:  41 1/2"  (I do not want this back, I do not like this back! Baby does not like this back!)
Thigh:  23 1/2" (If I lose some inches will the cellulite diminish too?)
Calf:  15"

So there you have it people.  My worst fear.  I'm very vain, even if it's just a secret internal thing.  I've lived this long without ever worrying about my weight and now I worry.  It was extremely hard for me to post these stats for those who read this blog to see.  Many of you might say, shut your fucking mouth Holly, you suck.  But for me, this is hard.  For me, these are not good measurements.  For my 'norm', this is wrong.  And it's funny because if I saw these stats about anyone I know, I'd tell them to shut the fuck up too.  I'd assure them that they looked fine and tell them they were crazy.  And I'll also reiterate that Eric does not support my belief and thinks I look amazing just the way I am.  Thank you sweetheart but I need to do this for me.  I need to be comfortable in my own skin again. 

So now I'm off, it's currently 11:30 p.m. and I'm going to finish the chocolate cupcake I have been picking at while I typed this.  Yes, I'm aware that is counter-productive.  I can actually hear Deb from work tsk-ing me.

In a Trance for Zef

I am by NO means a music critic in any way.  I can't reach into the depths of a song and pull out some hidden meaning written between the lines (not too well any way) and I can't write profound words about an upcoming artist (that would do them any justice). I know what I like and I don't delve too deep into trying to understand just exactly what it is about the band/artist that I like.  I just enjoy it.

Since the inception of the internet and Youtube, many artists are being found this way rather than the age old way of submitting demo tapes to record companies and hoping they end up in their cassette player rather than the garbage can.  Some are awful and pathetic (in my humble opinion) and some deserve to take over the world.

Enter Ninja and Yo-landi Vi$$er of Die Antwoord, of South Africa.   Die Antwoord are a "fre$, futuristik, flame-throw-flow-freeking, zef-rap, rave krew from da dark dangerous depths of Afrika".  And they are taking the music industry and world by storm.  They do not sound like anything mainstream and current.  They are unique and fresh and new and exciting. 

Eric and I spent Valentines Day with these guys and about 2 thousand other people who clearly love them as much as we do, if not more.  The place was hopping.  Quite literally.  The energy and electricity in the air was buzzing.  This is the second time we've seen Die Antwoord and frankly I think it was better (though the fact that I felt like shit last time we saw them probably didn't help).  They were on fire.  And I was exhausted just watching them. 

Their newest video (as their second album just dropped), I Fink U Freeky plays out like a small movie and it's a-mazing.  The song actually gives me goose bumps in oh so good a way.  I just love it, it makes my adrenaline kick in.  It makes my insides 'feel'.  I can't even figure out the words to describe it, but I feel the song on the inside of my body...if that makes any sense.  Almost like a proud mom. 

Watch it bitches (mom and Jill, you'll both hate it. Of that, I'm sure)!

A Kitty to Love

A couple of years ago, Eric and I adopted a kitty from the Humane Society.  A calico, Eric's favourite.  We named her Tabouleh, like the salad, because she was all multi coloured and mixed up.  She was quite skittish at first and hid out in our bedroom for a good couple of weeks before deciding torturing her and killing her weren't in our plans.  After some time she definately got comfortable in her surroundings. She took an immediate liking to Oliver, though her and Nika never really became 'friends'. 

After about a year living in our house, we spontaneously adopted the most adorable and personable black cat, Shakespeare, and welcomed him to our fold.  They seemed to like each other.  Maybe it was the familiar smell of the Humane Society that made them kindred spirits, who knows.  They slept together in sunbeams, they played together, they ate together - a happy little duo these two made.  Until about 6 months ago.  Six months ago, everything changed for this couple. 

During a round of rough housing, the cats knocked over a metal object and it came crashing down off the table and made a terribly loud noise, clearly scaring the crap out of both cats, who immediately went running for their lives.  But not before turning on each other and trying to maime and kill one another.  Since that day, they cannot be alone together or in close proximatey of each other without a full on battle ensuing.  I'm talking fur in claws, scratchs, blood, etc.  He can't go near her without her hissing and snarling, she can't go near him without him goading her and stalking her.  He torments the piss out of her.  And this always ends in a physical altercation.

So we've tried everything we can to make them like each other again.  We've segregated them for lengthy times, we've integrated them for lengthy times, we've forced them, in a supervised capacity, to spend time together, we've purchased and installed hormone diffusers, and we've taken them to the vet and introduced medication in hopes of calming them.  To no avail.  They simply cannot live together in harmony any longer.  Sadly the other cats are cluing in as to who the weaker link is in this terrible equation as well and Tabouleh is starting to act out.  Unfortunately, it looks like we have to find another home for the Tubster. 

So my point in writing this little blog is to ask any of you, my dear readers, if you know of anyone who is looking for a cat who does not currently have one or if they want two cats, who is willing to get a kitten after integrating Tabouleh into their household.  I believe she will be fine with another cat, provided she is the dominant kitty.  I do think though that the best situation for our girl is a home where she is the only cat and can roam freely without the fear of having the snot kicked out of her.

She is spayed, and very well tempered, though a little skittish.  A 'fraidy cat if you will.  We think she's around 3 years old.  She is litter trained and an indoor cat.  She's very independant and will come to you on her own looking for pets and affection.  She loves to eat!  Dry food mainly but enjoys a snack of canned food every other day or so.  She loves catnip and playing with her toys.  We don't want any money for her, we just want her to go to a home where she won't be scared and someone will love her.  We are willing to supply the litter box, she's up to date on her vaccinations and we will send her toys that she loves the most with her to help in her transition.  Please ask around.  We really don't want to have to take her to the Humane Society again.  We just want her to have a happy life.