Mud Pies and Memories

I'm all about the silver linings lately.  Which is highly unusual because I used to be the most pessimistic person you would have ever met (I still can be from time to time).  But for a while now I try to find at least one good in every bad or 'meh' situation that confronts me.  A few months ago the vacant lot immediately next door to us was sold.  A house is being built in its place and I will soon have a next door neighbour.  No, like literally butted up to my drive way, next door neighbour  Up to this point, it has been so nice not feeling like I have anyone living next to me when in fact I do.  Oh well, what's done is done.  We've been lucky enough to meet the new neighbours and they seem lovely thus far and I'm 100% confident that they'll take care of their property, blah, blah, blah....so that's good!  And, I've come to find out that they'll be putting a fence up between our properties, which was currently on my list of things to do anyway, 'cept now I don't have to pay for it!  Silver lining right?  Ya huh!

So, they broke ground a couple weeks ago.  Now there is a huge pit and a mountain of dirt right next door to me.  No big deal, turns out I like to watch big machines scoop dirt.  But here's the silver lining (besides the fact that the new neighbour said I could take some of the dirt and I got to top up all my gardens with mass quantities for free), for the past couple of days I've gotten the chance to see the little Gage who currently lives in his 16 year old body. I'm catching snippets of the little boy he once was.  I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to convey my feelings about this properly or not, but I'll try.

Gage antagonizing the dog.

For the past couple of evenings, Roan and Gage (and their buddies) have been scaling this mountain and ascending into the empty pit to partake in sword and light saber battles.  They have emerged, after hours of play, so dirty we've had to hose them off in the backyard.  Please keep in mind, I'm reminded daily, that Gage is closer to being a man than he is to being a child, so it's been so nice to see him pass up Call of Duty on the Xbox 360 to play with his brother (and sometimes not even with Roan) and friends in the dirt.  Seeing three 16 year old guys playing on a mountain of dirt with a couple of 12 year old kids, not worrying about their clothes (as they are caked in dirt) or giving a shit about what people in their cars are thinking when they drive past, warms my heart and makes me long for years past.

We've all heard the cliche about kids growing so fast that if you blink you miss it,  and we all know that's not actually true, but they really do excel and grow up so quickly.  These days it seems they grow up even faster, often before they're ready.  They get pressure from their peers, social media, the actual media, and even us parents to give up the childhood 'delusions of grandeur', the silly dreams, the make-believe friends, etc., and step up to reality...the real world.  It's actually disheartening how little time we allot children the chance to be children.  Everything is about readying them for the real world.  When did we start to believe that that was better then letting them enjoy their childhood and allowing them to get their hands and feet dirty every once in a while?

So I'll put my anxieties aside while I watch the mountain of dirt slowly make its way over onto my driveway. I'll silence my frustrations as I clean out my mud covered bath tub each and every day.  I'll not worry about the sludge of soil caking the hoses of my washing machine, eventually they'll run clean again.  I'll look forward to a summer filled with imagination from Roan and I'll cherish the glimpses back into his childhood I will get occasionally from Gage.  Something good has to come out of a summer of construction immediately next door right?!

Aw, there's the teenager emerging again.

 And the irony of all of this is that not a couple weeks later I put Gage on the Go bus/train to Toronto on his own (with friends) for three days to attend The Warp Tour (concert).  It's both a scary and proud moment to watch him set out, quite literally, in my exact footsteps. Sigh...such a confusing period in life for any teenager (not quite a kid, not quite a man) and his mom!